Headlining the Holidays

I have written the December article for “Ask the Experts” for several years now, reminding readers of the importance of headlining changes for your child during the holidays, such as preparing family and friends by reminding them of how overwhelming the holidays can be for those with autism, or using social stories to review your holiday break in routine with your child, etc. However, this year is different, and due to COVID-19, our children with autism have been coping with significant changes in their routines since March.

What I can offer at this point are some recommendations, and perhaps some validation for you as caretakers as you approach the upcoming holidays. Importantly, you may have experienced significant loss this year—lost loved ones, lost income or housing, lost time spent with close friends or family, or lost support. In the face of such loss, allow yourself time to grieve. Holidays are usually a time for celebration, but they can also intensify our sense of loss.

Try acknowledging that this year’s holiday traditions will likely look and feel differently than those in the past. Think of ways to make events special in different ways—try using technology to connect with family and friends this year using Zoom or FaceTime! While places of worship and/or movies may be closed, choose some favorite movies to watch as a family while snacking on your favorite foods! Plan to worship at home in some way instead of in a church or temple!

Take stock of what your household needs this year in terms of safety versus celebration; this means knowing your comfort level this holiday season, and knowing that it is okay to do what is best for you and your immediate family. If you’re hosting your family “bubble” at your house, or perhaps going to a small gathering at the house of a close family member, many of the same principles from previous years apply. These include preparing your child for guests, helping your child cope with extra stimuli, and identifying a quiet space if needed. Make sure to talk about mask-wearing, what clothes they’d like to wear, and have some of your child’s preferred foods ready—have a plan ready!

Last, make a plan for checking in on others, and have them check in on you! Perhaps just as important, be sure to check in with yourself—it may sound like a cliché, but this year more than those before it, this could not be more true. You MUST take care of yourself before you can adequately care for someone else! Ask yourself, “have I eaten,” or “did I drink enough water today?” And remember to remind yourself, “take three slow breaths in and out.”

We know that despite all the negativities COVID has brought, there are so many things to be grateful for and enjoy during the holiday season! We at Center for Spectrum Service are incredibly grateful for you and your precious children, and we wish you all a blessed, safe, and wonderful Holiday Season!

Cheryl

P.S. One source of support, available throughout the US – whether it is for emotional/mental health support, essential needs, disaster assistance and more is the “211 Life Line” – call “211” or go to www.211.org